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CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. - NASA's planet-hunting spacecraft, Kepler, rocketed into space Friday night on a historic voyage to track down other Earths in a faraway patch of the Milky Way galaxy.

It's the first mission capable of answering the age-old question: Are other worlds like ours out there? (Read the remainder of the story on MSNBC). Rumour has it that there's an intelligent life out there who've monitored the launch of Kepler carefully. Some psychics even say that we'll be able to hear from these aliens as soon as later this month (March '09).

NEW HAVEN, NY. - Johnny Boomerang, a man whose life was turned upside-down by the death of his wife, Lorraine Turner, and the disbanding of his former team, New Haven-based The Zerohood, was recently dealt an even worse blow to his dignity when his body was possessed by a demon.

Read the full story on The Straight Flush now! We're not sure, but we think that your life depends on it!

VENEFICES, Hades - In a daring rescue attempt staged by Locan, the Idealists, and a handful of Karmics, Anarchists, and Malignants sympathetic to the Order of Mercury, Idealist herald Aryel was rescued from the Ethereal Pyre on the 12th of July, where he had been held captive by the Cult of Inanna. Assumed “dead?after being struck by a bolt of lightning connected to a rip in the time/space continuum, the herald disappeared after his body was strapped to the back of a camel and sent off into the desert near Cairo. Reports later surfaced that he had been captured by the Cult of Inanna, along with former Malignant herald Neria, and imprisoned at the Ethereal Pyre. After summoning a portal at the Tower of Spades in Brooklyn with the help of Holy Arch-Magus Adam Xavier channeling the energies of several telepaths, the group proceeded to Venefices, where they were ambushed by several demons looking to stop them. An intense fight ensued, but the demons were eventually defeated, and another portal was summoned, this time to the Pyre, allowing Aryel his escape to freedom. While the Idealist herald’s rescue was successful, it was not completely flawless. Alerted by her demon guards about the group’s presence and Aryel’s escape, Inanna soon arrived in Venefices and began attacking the herald’s rescuers. The new Malignant herald lashed out against all those who assisted in Aryel’s release, even going so far as to possess one unfortunate rescuer as a mouthpiece for her threats as she attacked the group. Several casualties resulted, though most were able to escape back to New York City just in time. The current status of Neria remains unknown to all but a few since Aryel’s rescue, but both the herald and Locan have stood firmly against releasing her from her imprisonment at the Pyre. “Neria made her choice to stand in the dark. She is exactly where the Eternal Energy wishes her to be at the moment,?said Aryel. “I am Herald of Deva, not friend to Malignancy.?br>

NEW YORK, NY. - The Order of Mercury was defeated this evening in their attempt to storm the Ethereal Pyre, falling short of its goal to defeat the Cult of Inanna, due to a number of conspicuous absences from their ranks, and despite the valiant efforts of those present. Venus?newly-created world remains in question, and is being watched carefully. What will become of it? Will it be a threat to the Earth, and to life as we know it? Inanna now reigns as the Malignant herald, in place of Neria, who is still being held in the Comet Prison, along with Idealist herald Aryel. Their fate also remains questionable, at best.
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